20th February, 2006
Simplicity
I don’t know what it is, but no matter how hard I try to “beat” my depression, how much I want to live day-to-day without the feelings of aloneness, fear and apathy, I find myself actually missing it at times. There’s something about isolation and withdrawl that is comforting to me. I tend to feel like I do my best thinking at times that I’m depressed. I feel much more introspective and aware of what is wrong with me and the world. Perhaps it is because I have spent so much time in those dark places that I am very familiar with them and, as such, they have become a “safe place” for me. Being able to feel happy and to see the brighter side of things can be an uncomfortable experience, especially while living in a society where negativity seems to be the norm. After all, if you’re not bitching about some personal tragedy or haven’t watched the latest reality TV drama, you tend to stick out. However, despite my own occasional fondness for solitude, I know that too much is detrimental to your wellbeing. I wish more people would be willing to buck the trend and would just lighten up a bit. I’d be happy to share our discomfort at the same time we are sharing our happiness. Who knows, maybe other people would see us and have the strength to make that leap as well.
Posted at 6:04 am | Comment (1)
7th February, 2006
The other side of the coin
I usually can tell that I’m descending into a depression because, even as I’m pulling away from my emotional side and building up my walls, things that really strike a chord with me let my emotions pour forth with much more vigor than would be present during the more positive times in my life. Case in point, I direct you to this post at Waiter Rant; I actually teared up for a second when I got to the end. As easy as I find it to hate humanity when I’m depressed, it is stories like this that remind me that not all people are assholes and maybe there is some hope left in the world.
Posted at 6:39 am | Comment (0)
3rd February, 2006
Exoparasitoid
This wasp (Ampulex compressa) is really friggin’ cool. It lays eggs inside of roaches, and the hatched larvae use the roach for food – not exactly an uncommon occurance in the animal kingdom. What makes this wasp really uncommon is how it obtains food for its larva. You see, roaches tend to be quite a bit bigger than the wasp, so getting the roach to the nesting site can be a bit of a problem. To overcome this problem, the wasp stings the roach twice; first, a sting in the back to temporarily paralyze the front legs of the roach and second, a sting in the head, at a precise place in the brain of the roach where the “escape reflex” of the roach resides. This second sting does something to the neurons in this area that makes the escape reflex “disappear”. Once the temporary leg paralysis wears off, the roach is fully capable of locomotion, yet because of the second sting, it goes no where. At this point, the wasp, using the antennae of the roach to guide it “like a dog on a leash”, leads it back to the wasp’s den where an egg will be laid and the roach will be subsequently devoured by the hatched larva. Neat. [via BoingBoing]
Posted at 6:44 am | Comment (1)
